Just so we know, I'm not paid enough for this. In fact, I'm not paid at all. Should we start from there? From the fact that I was tasked to narrate this nonsense story that no one would believe? It's okay, I got you. No one want to listen to narrators who wails about the injustice inflicted on them, so I'll save both of us some time and get straight to the story. How's that?

COUGH! So, one day, after both your parents conveniently passed away, at the same time, at the same day (AND CERTAINLY NOT FOR PLOT CONVENIENCE), an official from census and told you something you would only hear from cheap overrated nonsense stories they call absurds. Turn out your late parents, for some reason you would probably never know, adopted the scissors to be your stepbrother. And named it Taro. That's right. The same stationery you bought, with YOUR OWN MONEY, has been unkowingly registered as your stepbrother by your dead parents.

For your part, you might want to decide which one is more audacious: registering a tool as your stepbrother officially, or registering the stationery you purchased WITH YOUR OWN MONEY, as your stepbrother, without telling you first. Or, the fact that they named it Taro. For my part, though, I have to deal with both of you.